Yamaguchi Seishi
These are my modern English translations of poems by the Japanese haiku master Yamaguchi Seishi. His "braking locomotive" haiku has become one of my most popular translations on the Internet.
Yamaguchi Seishi (1901-1994) was an acclaimed Japanese poet and writer. He has been credited with helping to modernize the venerable haiku, for instance by writing about unconventional subjects like locomotives, dance halls and sports. Seishi was a disciple of Takahama Kyoshi (1874-1959). Kyoshi called Seishi “one of his more out-of-the way disciples.” Seishi’s daring innovations of style and his subject matter were not entirely embraced by the more conservative Kyoshi. Seishi, together with poets named Seiho, Soju and Shuoshi created the “Four-S Epoch” of the Hototogisu School founded and led by Kyoshi.
Seishi has been said to represent “a pinnacle of haiku in twentieth-century Japan.”
Grasses wilt:
the braking locomotive
grinds to a halt.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Ceaseless chaos―
ice floes clash
in the Soya straits.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Having crossed the sea,
winter winds can never return.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
(The haiku above was written in October 1944 as Kamikaze pilots were flying out to sea.)
Banish the snow
for the human torpedo
now lies exploded.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
The sky hangs low
over Karafuto,
as white as the spawning herring.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Green bottle flies
buzzing carrion—
did they just materialize?
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Finally
the cicadas stopped shrilling—
summer gale.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
As grief becomes unbearable
someone snaps a nearby branch.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
As grief reaches its breaking point
someone snaps a nearby branch.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Trapped in the spider’s web
the firefly’s bulb
blinks out forever.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Trapped in the spider’s web
the firefly’s light
is swiftly consumed.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Other translations by Michael R. Burch:
Matsuo Basho
Yosa Buson
Kobayashi Issa
Ono no Komachi
Oriental Masters/Haiku
The HyperTexts



I prefer the first version of this haiku by Seishi (the one below) to your second version because it's so subtle and understated and allows the reader to figure out that the speaker has reached breaking point. Good choice in making this your preferred version.
As grief becomes unbearable
someone snaps a nearby branch.
―Yamaguchi Seishi, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch