These are my translations of French poems by the talented but enigmatic Arthur Rimbaud. Like Rimbaud, I wrote my first published poems at age 15, so it seems I was destined to translate him!
It's impossible to single out a specific Rimbaud poem here for special mention, because they are all so good, and these dynamic translations just set them alight. You could honestly say that the French Rimbaud and the U.S. Rimbaud seem to blend seamlessly into one. An excellent job!
The irony in "Drunken Morning..." appeals. The only word I paused at is "discord." "Absence" occurred to me. Overall it reminds me a bit of Stevens, especially his lines:
Here Rimbaud doesn't seem to be thinking of death so perhaps I should change the trumpet to "fanfare subsides" or something like that. This is the French. What do you think?
Ce poison va rester dans toutes nos veines même quand, la fanfare tournant, nous serons rendu à l'ancienne inharmonie.
In the original he has, regarding the next line, "when we'll have returned to the old disharmony." I'm not sure "former" conveys as well as "old" what he means, which is the customary strife that's always been rampant in life, i.e. the world's ever-ongoing routine of conflict and struggle.
It's impossible to single out a specific Rimbaud poem here for special mention, because they are all so good, and these dynamic translations just set them alight. You could honestly say that the French Rimbaud and the U.S. Rimbaud seem to blend seamlessly into one. An excellent job!
He was quite a talent, even in translation. Just think what he might have done if he hadn't retired from poetry at age 21!
The irony in "Drunken Morning..." appeals. The only word I paused at is "discord." "Absence" occurred to me. Overall it reminds me a bit of Stevens, especially his lines:
"The assassin discloses himself,
The force that destroys us is disclosed....
an adventure to be endured
With the politest helplessness...."—WS from EDM
Here Rimbaud doesn't seem to be thinking of death so perhaps I should change the trumpet to "fanfare subsides" or something like that. This is the French. What do you think?
Ce poison va rester dans toutes nos veines même quand, la fanfare tournant, nous serons rendu à l'ancienne inharmonie.
I see you made the substitution and think it works nicely.
Thanks for pointing that out. It didn't occur to me that readers might interpret that way, but I can see how easily it could happen.
In the original he has, regarding the next line, "when we'll have returned to the old disharmony." I'm not sure "former" conveys as well as "old" what he means, which is the customary strife that's always been rampant in life, i.e. the world's ever-ongoing routine of conflict and struggle.